Rajvi Bagdai Asking for what you deserve means knowing your worth in the first place. You can’t order a pizza if you don’t know what you want, the same way you can’t ask for what you deserve because you don’t know your own worth. We’ve all heard of inequalities of salaries in the workplace but have you ever wondered why? Yes part of it may be because of the patriarchal society but majority of it is because women are simply too scared to ask for a raise. “Nice girls don’t ask for raises”, we are considered too shy and afraid to come off too strong and that stops us from getting what we deserve.
Why can’t we ask for what we deserve?
As I mentioned it is SO important to know your own worth before you let anyone come into your life. Knowing your worth defines a lot of relationships, probably more than you realize. Your last relationship wouldn’t have ended if you knew your worth because you would’ve never settled for a partner so ungiving and selfish. You would’ve landed the next big project if you simply took credit for your own work instead of letting someone else have it, you could’ve gotten that house which is slightly more expensive if you asked for the raise your male counterpart did.
Women have just been taught to subdue their own wants and needs for years and according to me the best way to overcome this is knowing what you want and going after it, no IF’s and BUT’s, NO coyness or self – doubt just pure simple ambition, passion and dedication.
How to know your own self – worth?
All of this being said, I know it’s not easy to realise your own self worth. It’s not something that just happens over night but rather it’s a process. Here are some steps that helped me realise I’m the baddest b****in town:
- Look for it inside you, not outside.
STOP validating yourself through comments and likes and compliments. Every single morning wake up, look at yourself in the mirror and remind yourself of exactly who you are; the hardest working, strong, kind, beautiful girl who goes after what she wants.
- Compare what you want with what you have.
This could really help you in figuring out what you want. Think about the life you’re living right now, is it the one you want for yourself? What does your ideal life look like and think about what you can do differently to live that life? How can you make that dream a reality? Make a mood board to continuously remind yourself of your dream, don’t fall short of motivation, make your dream life be the reason that makes you want to get out of bed in the morning. Once you know what you want, don’t let anyone or anything stop you from getting it. Let your ideal life be so empowering that “Being too shy” and being “Scared to ask for what you deserve” aren’t even options!
- Change “ I can’t ” to “ How can I ” ?
Once you know what you deserve and want, don’t let the “I can’ts” come in your way. Instead think about how else can you do it? Find different ways to get what you want instead of just giving up. You probably won’t achieve success on your first 5 go’s but that’s okay. KEEP GOING, failure is a mere stepping stone NOT a destination.
All of us have big dreams and ambitions, don’t let the reason you can’t achieve them be yourself.
